Children's Titles


Paddy Gillard-Bentley






The first episode of The Great Adventures of Liam the Curious has been written into a play, Mugwort’s Bane. Inquiries are very welcome!





The Twilight of Enchantment has been written into a full-length family play. Inquiries are very welcome!







© 2006 by Paddy Gillard-Bentley


What happens when the man in the orange jumpsuit with his name in purple sequins comes to the house to remove the rat, doing the dog-paddle in the toilet?” Lizzy would have never believed her rat would end up play the trumpet in the Ratz P. Jammers swing band.



“What are you going to do with that?” I asked, carefully opening the front door.

“I’m going to put him in the rat circus.” He replied.

There’s a rat circus? ””

“Yes.” It’s my own soon to be famous rat circus.” I have clown rats that drive funny remote-control cars, and rats that walk on wires, and rats that have exercise wheel races.”

“Really?” I was fascinated.

Ew!” The boys were not.”

“Yes.” I even have rats that ride around on the backs of pigs.”

“I laughed.” “I’ve never heard of that before.”

“There are lots of things you’ve never heard of.”




© 2006 by Paddy Gillard-Bentley


Can Hannah save a steer from certain death and hamburgers?


Hannah followed the rat-tat-tat of pretend machine guns, and the ERRRRRRR of” enemy fighter planes, and ended up in the next-door neighbor’s backyard, where the war was still in progress.” “A COW JUST SNIFFED ME!”” Hannah yelled into the chaos.”

               “They all stopped firing to stare at her.” Mark McGraw , Hannah’s second oldest brother, was wearing a pot on his head and holding a baseball bat as if it was a bazooka.””

               “What did you say?”

               “I just saw a cow and it came right up and sniffed me. And I touched it too!”

               “Uh huh,”” Hannah’s brother said, and they all went back to shooting each other.

               “Hannah was confused.” She thought to herself,” “What did he mean, uh huh?” Why are they still shooting?” Didn’t they hear what I just said?”   “““““““““

               “HEY!” But I really did see a cow!”

               They stopped the game again. Some of the kids groaned.

               “Hannah’s sister, Jane sighed. “Come on, Hannah, you’re always making stuff up!”



Tales of Peculiar

And not the one in Missouri either


© 2005 P. G.B.


Perhaps there is something in the legend that supposes your name is a clue to just who you are.” His parents cannot be blamed for his name, being victims themselves of the Famous Dumpling Rain of ’89.” They were caught, unaware of the pending peril, on the roof of the rendering plant.” Both of them were viciously pelted with a cornucopia of dumplings.” Apple dumplings and bacon, my personal favourite, cornbread dumplings, cranberry and crabmeat where falling everywhere.” The crabmeat dumplings especially, I heard, were very messy upon impact.” There was also those tasty Polish cheese dumplings they call pierozki. I think it was the result of all the pierozki bouncing off their heads that they never quite recouped their former intelligence, which according to Mildred, the town gossip, hadn’t been much to brag about anyway.

               This brings us to Lance, whom Molly Flat was pregnant with during the Famous Dumpling Rain of ’89.” Lance cannot utter, no matter what the circumstances, the word fa…” Now, isn’t that silly of me. “This is a small town - and, well - let’s just say that when anyone utters the word - you know, it begins with ‘f’ and your mother told you it was crude and it rhymes with tart and those of a more refined nature will simply say, ‘break wind’.” If anyone in the town, especially Lance, says that word out loud you cannot imagine the damage caused by one boy who is so allergic to the word…it makes him…pass gas.” This is no ordinary pfft , silent but deadly thing.” This is something much more powerful and pungent.” One night, he was reading in his study while his pet dog, Wild Rover, who really annoyed me by always humping my leg, was cleaning his privates.” Lance had the habit of reading aloud, and without thinking, he uttered the words, ‘if art is such’...” It was catastrophic!” The force of the unfortunate incident knocked the dog clear into the kitchen, and to avoid offending your sensibilities, I’ll just say Wild Rover no longer desires the young female dogs, or my leg, the way he once did.” It was an altogether different sort of dumpling rain that night. One hit old Mrs. Greaves in the head while she was out collecting possum droppings from her garden, and the other landed on the revolving host above the Apostolic church on Main St.

Many peculiar stories of Peculiar.



© 1998 by Paddy Gillard-Bentley

It's not easy when you move from a big city to a house in the country.  It's not easy for anyone.  Branwyn found this out herself, when her folks decided that the country life would be good for all of them.  Branwyn's family belong to a very unusual organization...and it is this organization that got her into such a dilemma. 

Have you ever been so wrapped up in something that you forgot, for even a moment, that it wasn't actually real?  This happened to Branwyn too, and if it wasn't for the love and fast-thinking of her folks...she would probably still be lonely and without friends.   The creative way that Branwyn's folks saved her day...not to mention her whole social life at school, was to be something none of the kid's in nasty Mrs. Sharnlock’s class, would ever forget...especially, Mrs. Sharnlock!


Truth by Right of Arms is a play specifically for Middle School/Junior High.




© 1995 by Paddy Gillard-Bentley

Dave really likes Vivian.  Vivian really likes Dave.  Dave really likes children.  Vivian really likes Dave, so she pretends she really likes children, and this is exactly how the problem started in the first place.  Dave brings his infant nephew Engelbert over to meet Vivian.  Unfortunately, Dave gets called into work for an hour, so he leaves the baby with the unwilling Vivian.  No one knows for sure if things would have turned out differently for Vivian, had she realized the plastic container held baby wipes, not little hand towels, but never in your wildest dreams can you imagine how much damage can occur from the simple act of changing a baby’s diaper.  Simple of course, to those of us that have experience in that particular area.  Vivian, although she said she had, actually, had no experience changing diapers.  What a mess!.



©  1999 Paddy Gillard-Bentley

Written in the same meter as a timeless classic children's book,

a dandelion attempts to educate a gaggle of gardeners about the dangers of pesticides and the virtue of herb.

"Now look what you've done!"
Said the plant to the crowd.
"You've failed to see greatness!"
And he said it quite loud.
"We're wonderful medicine,
Yes it is true,
We're good for digestion
Rheumatism too!
And we're good for the liver
And edema!"  he cried.
Which is when you hold far too much
Water inside.



The Dandy Lion is also a play called, Pest Aside



© 1989 by Paddy Gillard-Bentley
Published by, The Educational Media Group (E.M.G)


Alexandra is a only a baby when she goes to the market with her dad.  She understands very little of what he says to her, but she is amazed by the sights and sounds of the bustling place, safe in her snuggle.  Unfortunately, Alexandra's curiosity is aroused by something dark and mysterious, lurking in a bucket.  Little does she know, that 
the dark lurking thing is as interested in her, as she is in it.  Both of them become surprised when the come in contact with a creature that they had never touched before.



(The Adventures of a Modern-Day Faerie)

©  1998 by Paddy Gillard-Bentley

This tale began a very long time ago, when Wales was a country filled with mystery and magic.  The lush green hills echoed with beautiful music performed by the enchanted dwellers of the woods.  The creatures there, both great and small lived their lives in spite of mortal civilization moving ever closer by the day.  As people migrated to the more remote areas of the countryside, they brought along their nasty dirty habits.  As time progressed, they had the impertinence to force the inhabitants to move away from their beloved land, and then rip the land asunder, plundering it of its riches and beauty by mining it until it lay barren and ugly.  It's not to say that the magic there has vanished, but now it is a rare and extraordinary thing to discover.  You must seek out the areas of undisturbed territory.  Fresh springs that spill down from the mountains that no man has plunged his hands into the cool waters to drink.  Caves that travel deep into the mountainside; the entrance concealed by foliage.  Hillocks that may appear to be only an ordinary hill, often have secret entrances for the creatures that live inside. There are still areas that contain magic, but none that have been laid to waste by mortal greed and a disregard for anything else.  For you see creatures of the Old Earth Magic, can make themselves very scarce if they have no desire to be recognized by humans, and if truth be known, they usually don't.

This is the tale of how just when you believe there is no more magic in the word, you are proved wrong...and just when you think you know exactly who you are, you are proved wrong...for living in each of us, is wise and ancient magic waiting to awaken. 

Kate discovers this magic when she chances upon a little cottage, in a lane where she frequently walks, where there has never been a little cottage  before.  Enchanted by the lovely garden in the front yard, she braves the odd place to take a closer look, runs right into the resident of that cottage...Caffa.  From that day forward, everything in Catherine's life changes.





© 2000 by Paddy Gillard-Bentley

     It could’ve been worse but not much.  It was the first day of school and  Jaden was going into the fourth grade.  Yesterday, he had been looking forward to today.  New teacher, new year and hopefully, with a little luck, no SivartSivart was the class bully who had made most of grade three absolutely miserable for Jaden. 
     Jaden woke up that morning, yawned and then remembered what day it was.
     "YOO HOO!!!   SCHOOL!!!"
Jaden jumped out of bed and raced to the washroom. 
     Downstairs his mother smiled as she made his lunch, and whispered to herself,  “Yoohoo!  School!  It’s been a long summer.” 
     Jaden’s mum was just filling his water bottle, when she heard the panicked scream.  She dropped the bottle and bolted up the stairs.
     “Jaden!  Jaden are you all right?”
     “Nooooooooo!”  came the anguished voice from behind the door.
     “Are you hurt?”
     “Noooooo,” he moaned.
     "What is it?”
     “I have a wart!”
     His mother sighed and thought,  “A wart.  It could’ve been much worse.”  But not much. 
     When Jaden finally allowed his mother to see the monstrosity that had situated itself on his leg, she thought to herself
But she said instead, “Ah, that’s not so bad.” 

““““ You see, this was no ordinary wart!  Clinging to Jaden's leg was MAXIMUS FOEDITAS WARTY, as he would tell them later, Maxwart for short.  Maxwart looks a bit like a goblin.  He is about six inches from the point of his green hat, to the points on his odd-looking shoes, with very pallid skin, a pointy nose with enormous nostrils, eyes that protrude from his head and move independently of each other, brassy wild hair and a red beard. 
     And there it is, it’s long arms and legs wrapped around Jaden’s leg, and his mother worried that nothing would be able to rid her son of this obnoxious growth.
     But Jaden's mother is very smart about things such as ugly Jaden will soon discover.




“1985 by Paddy Gillard-Bentley

Once upon a time...
I discovered there wasn’t any.  Not that time itself did not exist, but it really all depends upon your concept of space-time continuum.  Perhaps it is easier to understand if you imagine time in our reality as moving in a straight line; linear.  We are born at the beginning of the line, live through the middle and we should cease to exist on this earth when the line ends. 

What if the line was there long before we were born and continued long after our death?  Were we alive long before our birth, and continue our journey after our last breath?  What if the line suddenly became like a worm and part of it looped?  Would you then follow the path of the line and move out of linear time?  This concept could produce very interesting results if that meant you experienced things out of everyone else's time frame.  You could perhaps have an adventure lasting two weeks and return to find out you have only been missed for ten minutes.  Because there is a tiny gap where the loop begins and ends, if you chose to ignore it and travel the straight path, would you lose ten minutes of time? 

This brings up some very fascinating ideas but I am getting way ahead of the story...a story which bravely goes on a search for truth, discovery and answers to some very puzzling questions.  Purely a fantasy...Jamie goes to an alternate world with her Granny Tess, who is by our definition, a ghost, and learns some interesting philosophies regarding the theory of ... Reincarnation.  She'll be back for supper though, just  there and back see how far it is.