© 2007 Paddy Gillard-Bentley
3/f (one doubled) 2/m (one doubled)
Vanessa drinks too much.
Vanessa takes a cornucopia of prescription drugs.
Vanessaís doctors donít know what the other ones have prescribed for her.
Vanessa probably shouldnít wash down the Xanax with Baileyís Irish Cream.
Vanessa smokes too much.
Vanessa consumes too much coffee.
Vanessa wants to die, really, but her body isnít on the same page.
Can someone take so many pills every day that their body becomes immune?
VANESSA IS COPING WITH LIFE - - - BADLY.
Always wasting your time, arenít you. Trying to do things you canít do. If you get any skinnier, you can just squeeze through those bars.
You arenít fat, youíre skinny.
Youíre skinny. When you were a girl, then you were fat. Now youíre skinny. I can always tell when youíve lost weight. It makes your head look unnaturally large.
Iím fat...and I have a big head.
Vanessa writes down everything. She thinks itís the only thing keeping her sane. It probably is.
Even if you write things down, how are you going to keep them straight? How do you know what is influenced by too much alcoholÖor your eclectic collection of pharmaceuticals, or hallucinations brought on by recreational drugs, or paranoia, or just plan crazy thinking that comes with a boggled brain? How will you know whatís true and whatís not? What if most of it is some trumped up version of reality filtering through your mind, and a bunch of other things? Jesus, Vanessa, how do you cope?
Remember how much you hatedÖ
It felt like something.
It wasnít anything.